Truth or Dare: Team Guy Style
by RennaV
Summary: Naruto goes over to Guy's house for dinner and a game of Truth or Dare. It's just Team Guy. It can't be *that* bad, right? Oh how wrong he is...


**Truth or Dare: Team Guy Style**

 **Author's notes:** Naruto invites himself to Guy's house for dinner and truth or dare. Always go over to Guy's house for dinner as you're guaranteed to get dinner and a show. Never play truth or dare game with Team Guy. You have been warned.

 **Reminder:** This occurs in my "Twenty Truths about Team Guy" er, "universe." Yeah, it's getting a lot of off shoots...sorry. Anyway, truth number 13 in said fan fiction is "Tenten is Bisexual" in which she openly admits to believing Neji is transgender: that is a person who identifies as male who was born in a female's body. This is important to understand Tenten's reaction to one of Lee's questions.

* * *

Most people in Konoha knew better than to play Truth or Dare with Team Guy. Uzumaki Naruto was not most people. His friends had tried to warn him but Naruto took the warning as a challenge.

He went to go find Team Guy.

His friends took bets on if he would survive the night but Naruto heard and became determined to make it the entire night at Team Guy's place for truth or dare. How bad could it be? Our hero had no idea the perils in which he faced...

* * *

Naruto ran towards the training field where Team Guy went through their regular training routine.

"Twin Rising Dragons!"

"Revolving Heaven!"

Naruto yelped as a barrage of sharp pointy projectiles came flying at him. He ducked, jumped, cart wheeled, did the worm, and spun to avoid all the projectiles but even so a few skimmed by his clothes, face or hair _way_ too close for comfort.

Finally the projectiles stopped and Naruto watched with a dropped jaw as Neji leaped out of a sphere of blue charka to attack Tenten who was in the air. A Bo appeared in Tenten's hands but Neji caught it and the two hit the ground rolling. They both got to their feet and Naruto blinked in wonder.

Neji had an _amused_ smirk on his face, Tenten's Bo in his grip, and Byakugan activated. Tenten was trying to pull the Bo out of Neji's hands but failing miserably. She was yelling at Neji, eyes narrowed in fury and even Naruto knew not to tempt a woman when she was _this_ mad.

"Let go of my Bo, you jerk!"

"If I do that you will try to hit me in the head with it,"

"That's the point! Let go! Bastard!"

"Who says _I want_ to be hit in the head?"

"Let go! Let go! Letgoletgo!"

"Aw, but this kind of tug of war is fun,"

Naruto kept starting and wished he could close his mouth. Neji was _teasing_ Tenten, a small grin on his face, and a happy shine to his eyes. Tenten didn't look so pleased but Naruto was _sure_ he saw an upward tilt to her lips as she tugged with both hands on her Bo. Neji let her tug him but didn't tug back. Naruto blinked as the two had their weird tug of war contest.

"If you let go of my Bo then I'll kiss you,"

"Hm, interesting proposition,"

"And I promise to use tongue,"

"Oh, well when you put it like _that,_ "

Naruto fell on his face when Neji dropped Tenten's Bo, wrapped one arm around her waist, the other hand going to the back of her neck, and drew her in for a _deep_ kiss. Naruto looked up from the grass to see Tenten had curled her hands into Neji's hair and pushed so close up to him that Naruto couldn't tell where one ended and the other began.

The Bo lay on the ground beside them, completely forgotten, and Naruto pouted. Jeez, if only Sakura would train with him like this. Naruto got to his feet and cleared his throat. He yelped when four kunai came at him and he _barely_ ducked.

"Oh, hi Naruto," Tenten said.

Naruto got to his feet and rubbed the back of his head. The kissing couple had separated, Tenten with a blush on her cheeks while Neji had a single eyebrow raised and his arms crossed over his chest.

"Tenten," Neji said.

"Yeah?"

"How many times have I, Lee, and Guy-sensei told you to stop greeting people by throwing kunai at them?"

"Yeah, I'll _totally_ unlearn throwing weapons at people who suddenly surprise me,"

"Hn, noted,"

Naruto decided he had to hang out with Neji more, especially when Neji was with his girlfriend. Neji wasn't as cold and intimidating when Tenten was around.

"Anyway, Naruto, what can we do for you?" Neji questioned.

Right. He had come here for a particular challenge.

"I need your help with something," Naruto said.

Neji blinked. Tenten hummed but nodded.

"Well, _all_ of your help. Where are Bushy Brows and Bushier Brows sensei?" Naruto asked.

Neji and Tenten stared at him for a moment. Naruto waited while the duo exchanged a look. Tenten smirked, unabashed. Naruto decided it might be a good time to worry considering _Neji's_ lips tilted up into an amused expression.

"Training," they said together.

"Oh, well, um, I want to ask you guys a question," Naruto said.

"About the help you require from us?" Neji asked.

Naruto nodded. The couple exchanged another look. Neji gave a tiny shrug. Tenten raised her hands in a sort of half shrug, eyes closed, but nodded.

"Shoot," Tenten said.

One arm stayed aloft to spin a kunai (which appeared out of nowhere) on her index finger while the other arm bent and her elbow went atop Neji's shoulder. Neji stood with one eyebrow raised slightly and his arms loosely crossed over his chest.

"Well, see, there's this bet going on with like, _everyone_ about um, how crazy a person would have to be to play Truth or Dare with your team so I decided it can't be too bad and hey, when we win they we'll separate the cash equally," Naruto said.

Both stared at him. Naruto didn't know what was worse: Neji's white eyed gaze or Tenten spinning her kunai with her eyebrows raised and a smirk on her face. Tenten giggled. _Neji_ smiled.

"We will pass the message along. Do you know where Guy-sensei lives?" Neji questioned.

Naruto nodded.

"Good. His house, sixteen hundred hours. We will have dinner then play," Neji said.

Naruto grinned. Okay, so he might have a bunch of cuts in his clothes from Tenten's weapons and seeing Neji smile did creep him out a bit but the cash he won from the going bet would let him eat ramen for _months._

"All right! I'll see you guys later then!"

Naruto didn't know what to expect when he went to Guy's house later that day. He had found Shikamaru, Kiba, and Choji to tell them about what he had been invited to dinner then truth or dare, not mentioning _he_ knew about the bet of course. Even Naruto knew it would've been stupid to say that.

All three had winced and wished him good luck. Naruto didn't know what was so bad. It was just dinner at Guy's house followed by a kid's game.

* * *

Naruto had brought a tub of ice cream with him, Neapolitan since he had _no idea_ what any of the four preferred as flavours. At least this brand had vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry which was Naruto's favorite. No one could complain.

Naruto walked up the path with his tub of ice cream in its plastic bag and noticed the grass to either side of Guy's house was _perfect_. The front of the house was home to two big bay windows with filled flower containers on the ledges. The plethora of flowers stunned Naruto for a moment then he realized the door was painted bright green.

Naruto decided not to linger long on _that_ and knocked. He heard footsteps and started to put a smile on his face. His smile froze, half formed as Neji answered the door. Naruto had expected Neji to be in Guy's house. He _hadn't_ expected Neji to be wearing a _bright pink_ apron with the words "Kiss the cook" written across it in sparkly black cursive.

"Uh, ice cream?" Naruto got out.

Neji blinked. A smirk came to Neji's face but he did take the bag from Naruto's hands.

"Hn, after, but come in," Neji said.

Neji stepped aside and started walking deeper into the home. Naruto followed, noticing Neji wore bright pink _fluffy_ slippers. Naruto shook his head but took his shoes off before following Neji down the small front hallway and into the main home. Naruto stopped in the sitting area and stared.

The main sitting area of the home was pale green walls, dark hardwood floor, and dark green couches. A massive box sat to one side of the room. In the middle were a low, wide, long table, and a dark green area rug. The curtains were dark green and Naruto spotted a bunch of nature paintings on the walls.

It looked, well, _comfortable._ Naruto turned to see Neji walk into a kitchen which was open concept. The floors changed from hardwood to white tile. The cupboards and walls were white but handles were painted green. The cupboards had green trees painted on them and all the towels and other kitchen appliances were green. The stove and fridge were silver.

In the middle of the kitchen, acting as a sort of separator, was a rolling set of cupboards, white with a white top and with painted green trees. Tenten, wearing a purple apron with "Kiss the chef" across it in black sparkly cursive, was cutting vegetables across the rolling cupboards. Naruto gaped.

Tenten's hands were a blur of motion as she made short work of cucumbers, carrots, celery, onion, and whatever else she got her hands on. Naruto could _barely_ see the knives flying as she worked. He did spot Lee in typical Lee green spandex and orange leg warmers standing beside Guy in the same get up at the stove.

Neji put the ice cream in the freezer then reached into a cupboard to grab a glass. The fridge opened and Naruto blinked when Neji came over with a glass of water for Naruto.

"Uh, thanks," Naruto said.

"Hn," Neji returned, still smirking.

He went back into the kitchen and _calmly_ took up a position beside Tenten, gathering up what she had cut up into different bowls and putting his hands near her moving knives to give her more stuff to chop.

"Hey-ya Naruto," Tenten said.

"Ah, Naruto, good of you to join us in your youth," Guy said.

He and Lee turned and Naruto almost dropped his glass. Guy and Lee wore matching aprons in blinding pink with the words "King of the Kitchen (Prince for Lee)" across their chests in bright sparkly purple letters. Both wore matching pink slippers, fluffy and in the shape of rabbits.

"Naruto! Welcome!" Lee said.

"Uh, thanks for having me," Naruto got out.

He got distracted by Neji _serenely_ tossing a bowl of cut vegetables over a shoulder. Lee caught the bowl and upended it into a pot Guy stirred. This is when Naruto wondered about his own sanity.

Bowls, knives, vegetables, and various containers of spices went flying through the air but in a sort of _dance._ The four shinobi in front of him didn't even have to _look_ at each other when one called for something and another whipped it towards them without looking to the person who asked.

Guy tossed a potato peeler at Neji who caught it in one hand while throwing Lee the pepper with his other. Tenten lobbed a potato at Neji who grabbed it in his now pepper free hand. Guy stirred whatever was in the pot when Tenten chucked a paring knife at him. He caught it in his free hand while Lee doused a different pan with pepper and tossed Tenten a cucumber.

Naruto kept staring, wanting to close his mouth but having no control over it at the moment. He also wanted to blink but his eyes kept wide as he watched the complicated looking movements in wonder. The more the group cooked, the more extravagant their moves became as they started almost _juggling_ all the utensils and ingredients they needed. Words like "knife, butter, salt, cumin, cucumber, potato, spatula, noodles, pepper," and others were all that were said as all were tossed between the four.

"Good, good, more heat Lee, pepper," Guy said.

"Vinegar," Neji said.

Guy whapped a bottle from off the fridge with a ladle he had in his hand and the bottle went flying through the air. Neji caught it a split second before it whapped Tenten in the back of her head. Guy had done this _while_ catching the pepper Tenten chucked at him.

Naruto didn't move, not even to drink his water, until the four pronounced the meal finished. Neji, Lee, Guy, and Tenten took off their aprons and brought a variety of dishes over to the low table in the sitting room. Of course, they did not do this normally either.

The living room table hadn't been set so Tenten carried five large plates, five tea cups with saucers, five sets of chopsticks, the steaming teapot, and two large platters of food. The food was in her hands. The plates were balanced on her head, the tea pot in the middle, the tea cups and saucers stacked around the pot, and the chopsticks (wrapped) balanced on her nose.

Neji carried four platters of food: one bowl balanced on his head, one large bowl in his right hand, and two plates balanced in his left hand. Lee carried bottles of condiments, no; Lee _juggled_ salt, pepper, vinegar, soy sauce, milk in a serving flask, sugar and four spoons. Guy had the soup bowls balanced on his head with their spoons but carried the hug pot of soup in his hands with bright pink oven mitts. The ladle was balanced on his nose.

"Uh, I guess you guys don't need help," Naruto said.

Guy and Lee laughed at him. Tenten winked. Neji smirked.

Surprisingly, everything was set down and perfectly in place within ten seconds. Naruto took his seat as Tenten poured out tea and Guy ladled out what looked like miso soup. Other dishes included cucumber salad with carrot, potato stew, sushi, fried fish with brown rice, fried egg, and maki rolls.

"Itadakimasu!" the four shouted.

Naruto got his in near the end but broke his chopsticks and dug in. Naruto took his fill of everything as did the others and decided to taste the soup first. Naruto got the ceramic spoon into his mouth and his eyes went wide. He swallowed then gaped at Guy.

"This is amazing," Naruto said.

Guy chuckled while Lee, Tenten, and Neji shared a sort of secret smile.

"Thank you, Naruto," Guy said.

Naruto dug into his meal with the same kind of vigor as eating ramen at Ichiraku's. Guy could teach Teuchi a thing or two about cooking but Naruto would never admit it to either man. Even so, no _wonder_ Tenten, Lee, and Neji ate at Guy's place as often as people said they did. Naruto would move in with Guy if it meant awesome food like this.

Naruto happily finished off any leftovers which would have been had. The other four didn't mind in the slightest and insisted Naruto stay seated when it came time to clear the table. The four repeated the same method of getting everything into the kitchen at once. Then Naruto got to watch the washing processes.

All the cupboards and drawers were opened first while Lee took over the double sink. Neji stood by Lee's side while Guy soaked down a towel and rung out the excess water. Tenten stood off to one side with a grin on her face.

It began.

Lee washed with a speed Naruto knew no one would match. Neji _dried_ with the same speed then _threw_ whatever had been washed to Tenten who _tossed_ it into its proper place. Guy motored around the kitchen, wiping down all surfaces while humming to himself, a huge grin on his face.

It didn't matter what Lee washed and Neji dried then chucked at Tenten. She caught it effortlessly and it ended up exactly where it needed to go with no damage. Between tossing dry dishes into place, she was also putting all the condiments, spices, and other stuff away. Guy had begun to rush back and forth across the _floor_ , butt up in the air, hands on the ground with his cloth, and running across in his slippers to wash the floor.

He _missed_ Tenten every single time. At one point she jumped on his back and let Guy take her from one end of the kitchen to the other while Neji threw her spoons, knives, plates, and the tea cups. Not _once_ did anything get dropped, dinged, or put into the wrong place. Not _once_ did any of the four miss a step and cause a disaster Naruto expected.

No wonder the four had insisted he stay seated. He would have been in the way and totally messed up the cleaning process. As it was, the entire process took a little under seven minutes even with the insane amount of dishes Guy had used.

The kitchen sparkled when the four were finished, chuckling to themselves, and wiping off hands on towels where needed. All the drawers and cupboards were closed and they returned to the living room where Naruto still sat in utter silence, stunned beyond comprehension.

"So, truth or dare?" Tenten said.

Naruto nodded. He had forgotten how to speak. Lee and Guy grinned. Neji sighed but settled at the table beside Tenten. Guy took the head of the table while Lee settled beside Naruto.

"There are rules," Guy said.

Neji, Lee, and Tenten nodded. Naruto blinked. Guy stuck his pointer finger on his right hand up.

"First: punishment for not doing a dare into completion or answering a question truthfully requires one hundred laps around Konoha..."

Naruto wanted to laugh. That was easy!

"In a pink tutu."

Naruto gaped. Again, Neji, Lee, and Tenten nodded. Guy stuck his middle finger up alongside the pointer on his right hand, his face serious and the other arm over his chest, holding the bicep of his upraised arm. A serious pose. For a kid's game. Naruto blinked.

"Second: no hair cutting or dying,"

Naruto breathed a sigh of relief. He had kind of figured with Neji involved. Again, Neji, Lee, and Tenten nodded. Guy's ring finger went up beside the other two.

"Third: no matter what is said or done in this home the details _will not_ leave this house. This includes photographic evidence or any secrets."

Naruto nodded along with Neji, Lee, and Tenten. Guy's pinkie finger went up.

"Fourth: You may only use truth three times in a row. Upon your fourth turn after your third truth in a row you will be forced to take a dare."

Naruto blinked but understood a moment later. More nods. Guy's thumb came out. He smiled.

"Fifth and last: have fun."

Naruto almost whacked his head off the table but managed to keep his body upright. Guy chuckled. He cleared his throat.

"Since you are new to this game, Naruto, I will start," Guy said.

Naruto almost started protesting but decided to hell with it. He nodded. Guy beamed.

"Neji, truth or dare?"

"Truth," Neji said.

Guy kept smiling. Naruto waited, holding his breath and thinking the question would be completely ridiculous and not embarrassing. He did not realize how _wrong_ he was.

"Would you still love Tenten if she gained one hundred pounds?" Guy asked.

Naruto balked. Lee chuckled. Neji blinked and a blush came to his cheeks. Tenten gave him a _deadly_ look.

"Of course," Neji said.

Tenten grinned and kissed his cheek. Neji smiled at her, an _actual_ smile. Wow. If Neji smiled in public he would convert some men to being into other guys without an issue.

"Lee, truth or dare?" Neji questioned.

"Dare," Lee said.

Naruto figured it would be some kind of crazy training. Oh how wrong he was. Naruto watched as Neji smirked but got to his feet. The box was opened and Neji went digging through it. Naruto fell onto his back when Neji brought out the items he found: yellow rubber boots, an umbrella, plastic yellow shorts, a yellow rain hat, and a yellow crop-top type rain jacket.

"Put all this on and sing "It's Raining Men" all the way through," Neji said.

"Yosh!" Lee said.

Naruto couldn't speak as Lee pulled on the yellow shorts and jacket over his green spandex. The hat went on his head and he stuck his feet in the boots. The umbrella (also insane bright yellow to match everything else) was opened. Lee grinned, inhaled, and started to sing:

"Humidity is rising, Barometer's getting low, according to our sources, the street's the place to go..."

As with everything else Lee did, he put his full spirit into the song and started dancing. Naruto could only stare with his jaw wide open and his eyes ready to pop out of his head as Lee kept singing, fairly well, truth be told.

Guy lasted half a minute before laughing. Tenten made it to the second verse. Neji burst out laughing like Naruto had _never_ seen or heard Neji laugh like before by the first chorus of "It's raining men."

Neji _kept_ laughing, tears coming to his eyes and having to hold his stomach kind of laughing until Lee finished. Tenten was gasping for breath while Guy banged a fist on the table as he roared with laughter and all Naruto could do was gape. Lee took a bow, took off all the rain gear then took his seat.

"Tenten, truth or dare?" Lee questioned.

Tenten inhaled deeply, giggled, inhaled again, snorted then exhaled:

"Truth,"

Lee grinned.

"If you were able to become invisible for a day, what would you do?"

Tenten coughed. Neji sobered up as if he hadn't been laughing. His cheeks were pink and he had to wipe some tears from his eyes. Guy kept smiling. Naruto was beginning to understand why people warned him away from playing truth or dare with Team Guy.

Tenten turned red then let out a long breath. She bit her lip then looked at Neji. He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Um, probably spy on Neji all day," Tenten said.

Neji's eyebrow went higher and his lips shifted into a small smirk as Tenten's cheeks went pink.

"Spy as in," Lee said, waving a hand as if to say "elaborate."

Tenten groaned and her head whapped against the table. Naruto jolted. Neji coughed but his expression didn't change.

"Um, like, er, watch him get up in the morning, you know like, ah, showering, and um, stuff," Tenten said.

Naruto fell over onto his back with a choking sound. Who knew girls could be as perverted as guys?

"And you know, while he er, ate breakfast. And um, changed and er, trained. And um, while he had dinner, and whatever it is he does after dinner, then got ready for bed, and probably watch him while he slept till the invisibility wore off..."

Girls were worse than guys and Tenten was a little creepy.

"As if I would be opposed to any of that," Neji said with a kind of _purr_.

Naruto had no idea Neji was a pervert. He got up in time to see Tenten smack Neji's arm and Neji chuckle before winking at her. She was deep red.

"Jerk, Guy-sensei, truth or dare?" Tenten asked.

"Dare," Guy-sensei said.

Tenten smiled and went to the box. Naruto could only watch helplessly as she came back with a smaller box filled with _bows._ Guy smiled.

"Lemme put these in your hair," Tenten said.

"Of course," Guy said.

Naruto stared as Tenten put two dozen bows, bright pink in color, into Guy's hair. Naruto had _no idea_ how she managed it but when she was done, Guy beamed and gave her a seated Nice Guy pose. She nodded and took her seat beside Neji who had a smile on his face.

"Very youthful," Lee said in seriousness.

"Thank you Lee. Well, Naruto, do you feel ready to join?" Guy questioned.

"Uh, sure," Naruto said.

"Truth or dare?" Guy asked.

Naruto didn't know what would be worse. Sure, Kiba's dares and truth questions might be a little sexual but so far Naruto didn't know whether to laugh or run away screaming. It couldn't get any worse at least.

"Uh, truth," Naruto said.

Better to be cautious.

"What is your guilty pleasure?" Guy questioned.

"My, what?"

"Something you like doing but would be embarrassed to do in front of others or have anyone know that you like doing," Neji explained.

Naruto stared in confusion. Neji rolled his eyes.

"For instance, my guilty pleasure is singing in the shower. I have a stereo in there and everything," Neji said.

Naruto grunted and fell over. Hyuuga Neji liked singing in the shower. Tenten would have no issue spying on Neji while he sung in the shower. Lee had sung a song about raining men in rain gear. Naruto groaned.

"Well?" All four asked.

"I um, like to read romance novels," Naruto admitted.

Tenten snickered. Neji coughed. Lee offered him a high five and Naruto took it. He sat up mainly because Lee forced him then looked at the other four.

"Um, so, Neji, truth or dare?"

"Truth," Neji said.

"Why do you like singing in the shower?" Naruto questioned.

Neji went red. Tenten kept laughing. Guy beamed and Lee commended him on the excellent question.

"I, um, well the acoustics are better in the shower plus no one can hear me and it's um, relaxing," Neji said in a rush.

Naruto blinked then nodded. Neji let out a breath and pointed to Lee.

"Dare," Lee said.

Again, Neji go to his feet. This time he came back with a pack of markers. Lee nodded and Naruto could only watch in shock as Neji drew on Lee's face in washable marker. Heart shapes went around Lee's eyes and were colored in. His eyebrows became a massive caterpillar over Lee's eyes. Neji drew a blue button on the tip of Lee's nose. It was then Naruto noticed Neji was _happily humming_ some tune Naruto didn't recognize.

Lee got a butterfly on one cheek and an awkward looking squirrel on the other. "Rock Star" was written across his forehead in jagged black letters and he was given a goatee in bright orange. Neji considered Lee's face then nodded and handed Lee a mirror. Lee gave Neji a thumb up then asked Tenten the question.

"Truth,"

"Was Neji's butt what drew you to him?"

Naruto gaped. Tenten flushed.

"He's got a great butt, so _yeah_ ," Tenten said.

She followed this up with a smack to Neji's butt, or what she could get of it considering he was sitting. Neji jolted but smirked. Naruto fell over again.

Guy got to dance around in a pink tutu. Naruto had to tell the group his biggest fear which was being alone. Even _Neji_ hugged him after that. Naruto dared Lee to dance like a chicken which he did surprisingly well.

"Neji," Lee said.

"Truth," Neji replied.

"Next is dare," Guy reminded him.

Neji inclined his head.

"If you could be a girl for a day, what would you do?" Lee asked.

For some reason, Tenten winced. Naruto didn't understand. Neji coughed and went red.

"Er, likely play with, um, my breasts," Neji said.

Naruto gaped. Neji was a complete pervert but didn't show it. Neji had _just_ gotten mad at Naruto for wanting to peek on the girls the other day! Hypocrite Hyuuga...

Tenten raised an eyebrow at Neji.

"And um, jump around a lot because, er, bouncing," Neji said.

Naruto whapped his head off the table because Lee and Guy (still in the pink bows) were _nodding_ seriously. Naruto risked looking up after a moment. Neji's entire face had gone red. Tenten looked amused.

"I could let you play with mine," Tenten said.

Neji fell back onto the floor with a nosebleed. Naruto smacked his head off the table as Lee and Guy laughed. Neji sat back up and used a tissue Guy offered to wipe his nose. Neji coughed.

"Later," Neji said to Tenten.

She _grinned_ and _nodded._

"Guy, truth or dare?" Neji questioned.

Guy got to free style a poem about his team which Naruto wished he hadn't heard. Guy grinned to Tenten and Naruto saw Neji go pale.

"Truth," Tenten said.

"What are you most insecure about?" Guy asked.

Tenten blinked then hummed. She was seriously thinking about it. Naruto stared.

"Not being a close range fighter like the three of you guys or not being good enough to keep up," Tenten said.

"But you can tie with me," Neji told her with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, _tie_ with you. I haven't _beaten_ you," Tenten said.

"Nor has anyone else, well, except Naruto but I was a pompous jackass at the time," Neji said.

Naruto didn't know what was more shocking: the fact Neji admitted to being a jerk, the fact Tenten didn't feel like she was up to the Team Guy standard, or the fact no one had beaten Neji.

Tenten blew bangs out of her face as Guy and Lee starting going on about how good she was. She shrugged.

"Still, just _once_ I'd like to hit Neji with my Bo when he doesn't want me to," Tenten said.

"Hn," Neji said.

For some reason she swatted him with an annoyed look on her face.

"And don't go pretending to let me get a hit on you tomorrow cuz I'll totally know," Tenten told him.

"Hn,"

She smiled at him this time. Naruto didn't get it and decided it best not to ask.

"You can probably kick my ass," Naruto said.

Tenten stared at him then grinned.

"Okay, okay, moving on. Neji, I'm daring you," Tenten said.

Neji groaned. Tenten got to her feet and Naruto understood fully what being forced into a dare meant. He watched as Tenten went digging through the box for something. Whatever she found she hid behind her back and grinned. Naruto didn't like the look of Tenten's grin.

She put a pink, long thin box on the table and opened it to reveal make-up. Neji's eyebrow went up. Naruto looked at Tenten the same time everyone else did as she unraveled a _pink_ dress with white lace trim and a white band around the waist with a white bow in the front. The dress had no sleeves and a scoop neckline. Neji paled. Naruto didn't blame him.

"Go put this on, and yes, you are keeping it on the rest of the game. And yes, I do get to do your make up."

Neji groaned but grabbed the dress. He disappeared down the hallway and came back wearing the dress. Naruto gaped in wonder. The dress went to Neji's knees but the skirt was kind of puffy which gave him the illusion of hips. The scowl on his face didn't go with the dress but Lee, Guy, and Tenten were giggling.

Neji sat at his spot with a sigh (and an _amused smirk)_ and Tenten sat beside him. Naruto watched in awe as Tenten did Neji's eyes with pink shadow, thick mascara, and thin liner. His cheeks were made pink and he was given pink lips. Tenten even shaved his legs (though Neji's leg hair was oddly fine) and shaved under his arms.

"There, now we can continue the game," Tenten said.

Naruto wondered if he could escape.

"Naruto, truth or dare?" Neji asked.

No such luck.

* * *

The night wore down and Naruto decided it was easier to sleep over at Guy's house. There was plenty of room and besides, Naruto didn't want to go walking home wearing flowers in his hair (thanks to Tenten), a green bikini (Lee), make up all over his face like some kind of crazy clown (Neji), and his nails painted bright purple (Guy).

Besides, seeing Neji in the pink dress, make up, with braids in his hair (Naruto thought Neji had looked like he enjoyed having his hair plated into at least one hundred little braids), pink nails (Guy), and wearing high heeled black stiletto boots (Tenten) was funny.

Lee's marker face had become commonplace as had the red Speedo (Naruto), the purple shell bikini top (Neji), the spiked hair (Tenten), and the green tutu (Guy). Tenten was in a slinky somewhat see through black dress (Neji of course), with her hair down (Lee), and her make-up done _oddly_ expertly (Guy), with bright red heels on her feet (Naruto).

Guy in his pink bows, white ballerina outfit (Lee), clown make-up (Tenten), and yellow nail polish (Neji) was kind of normal by now anyway. Besides, he kind of figured he should spend the night with the people who knew he was afraid of ants, missed Sasuke, and felt he was stupid.

It was good to know Neji was human with real fears. Naruto had never thought Neji would be self conscious about the color of his eyes, like watching cheesy romances (Tenten liked the slasher flicks), wanted to have at least two kids but didn't want to because of the curse seal, still harboured a bit of a fear of spiders, and felt inadequate in his physical strength.

Naruto had an idea Neji felt vain about his hair but had no idea Neji wanted to go back to being a kid again because he _liked_ swinging on the swings damn it (his words). Naruto _hadn't_ wanted to know Neji had developed a sort of, kind of, _little_ crush on Naruto after the chunin exams or that Neji would have no problem experimenting with _whatever_ in the bedroom.

Naruto thought it was nice to know Guy regretted not getting married and having kids even though he considered his students his kids (they had _all_ hugged him for this). Naruto didn't know Guy hated the idea of being alone at home at night which was why Lee always slept over while Neji and Tenten came over to play cards with Lee and Guy. He hadn't figured Guy to be self conscious about his nose.

Naruto _didn't want to know_ Guy's first kiss had been with Kakashi. The story about Guy's first kill had shaken Naruto to the core. Naruto wished he could forget the look in Guy's eyes when he talked about his worst enemy.

Naruto liked knowing Tenten could sew really well and that she was self conscious about her body (to which Neji vehemently said she had nothing to worry about.) It made her seem like a girl, not that Naruto would tell her this even if demanded. He would run around Konoha in a pink tutu one hundred times rather than face down Tenten's weapons.

Knowing she like being pampered (by Neji no less) and thought her hair was her best asset made her seem normal. Naruto didn't need to know she would be absolutely willing to have a huge family of white-eyed weapon wielding children, enough for six full genin teams. Seeing Neji faint after this proclamation was worth it.

Naruto really hadn't wanted to know Tenten wanted to experiment sexually with a lot of different things or all the details which went with it. She knew a lot about adult toys. The look of interest on Neji's face hadn't helped.

Naruto did like knowing Lee wasn't entirely crazy. He wanted to learn how to be a better cook, wanted to get married, have a few kids, and live a relatively sane life. He regretted not finding Yusa-chan (Naruto had _no idea_ who this was but Guy, Neji, and Tenten smirked) and wished he had more time with her. Lee wished he was able to use genjutsu and ninjutsu, even just _one_ of the two and this had almost made Naruto cry because of the frustration in Lee's voice.

Neji had hugged him (pink dress meeting red Speedo only at the time) and Naruto could only stare in wonder as not only had Neji initiated the hug but seemed _content_ to sit there and let Lee cry on his shoulder. Naruto really hadn't wanted to know Lee could flatten a man's face with a few good hits or kick a man's head clean off either. This was too scary.

Even so, Naruto had a good night. Sharing the bathroom with all three members of Team Guy the next morning while Guy cooked had been both hectic and entertaining. Naruto couldn't remember laughing so much in his life while Neji argued with Lee over giving up the toothpaste, Tenten put up her hair while brushing her teeth, and Lee ignored Neji while brushing his teeth and hair at the same time.

Seeing Neji with his hair a mess around his head and tied up in a disordered bun had been worth the noise level in the small (green) bathroom. Neji had to tackle Lee to get the toothpaste which unbalanced Tenten and made all three of them fall to the floor. Naruto had simply stared with a grin on his face as the three detangled themselves and yelling all the while. Neji had finally gotten the toothpaste and went about brushing his teeth as Tenten took down his bun and brushed his hair.

Tenten had the bathroom to herself to get dressed while Lee, Naruto, and Neji shared Guy's room. Neji and Lee had a yelling match about spandex and Hyuuga robes while Naruto watched in wonder. Seeing Neji act so _normal_ was worth being traumatized by truth or dare last night. Naruto did have a feeling Neji would never do this at a regular sleep over though.

Naruto was happy to know Neji could cut loose with his team.

Guy had made a delicious breakfast of fried egg, miso soup, steamed rice with vegetables, rice porridge, pickled vegetables, baked fish, and natto. Naruto had been disappointed Guy had been up way before the rest of them to make said breakfast (and get ready for the day) so couldn't watch the show from last night.

He did get to watch all four balance various dishes and breakfast utensils as well as the cleaning process again so Naruto didn't feel completely let down. Naruto left Guy's house at seven in the morning, unbelieving it was so _early._ He waved good bye to Guy and Lee who decided to race to the training field. Tenten shouted at them to be normal but Neji silenced her with a kiss. Naruto smirked and walked away.

"You _survived_?" Shikamaru asked.

"Yep," Naruto said.

"Seriously?" Kiba questioned.

"Yep, you guys owe me," Naruto said.

"No way, not until we ask Neji, Guy, Lee, and Tenten if you actually made it through—" Ino started.

"He did,"

Everyone turned to look as Neji and Tenten strode into the restaurant the Rookie Nine (with Sai and minus Sasuke) had taken over. Neji gracefully took an empty seat as Tenten took the one directly beside him with a smile on her face.

"Naruto played Truth or Dare with us until Guy-sensei called it a night and had breakfast with us this morning," Neji said.

"Impossible," Sakura said.

"Nope, it's totally possible. That's why his nails are bright purple, Neji's are bright pink, and Guy's are yellow," Tenten said matter-of-factly.

Naruto had forgotten he still wore the nail polish but did hold up his hands. Neji held up one of his as well with a smirk on his face.

"It is also why we were all greeted with the sight of Lee in a red Speedo," Neji said.

Every gaped. Naruto chuckled under Neji's glare but only because Neji had an eyebrow raised and a little _smirk_ Naruto recognized on his face.

"Ahaha, sorry, sorry," Naruto said. "I had to get him back for making me where that, er, yeah."

Neji chuckled but nowhere near the laughs he had given last night. Naruto found he missed it but knew why Neji didn't let loose with friends. Hyuuga decorum kind of prevented him to be human.

"Point," Neji said.

"So, how much did you guys bet against Naruto surviving the night?" Tenten questioned.

"Uh, well, word got out and a lot of people joined in," Ino admitted.

Shikamaru and Kiba nodded. Naruto blinked while Neji raised his eyebrow and Tenten began smirking.

"Like who?" Tenten asked.

"Um, Kakashi," Shikamaru said. "Anko, Ibiki, Genma, Raidou, Tsunade-sama, Shizune, Iruka, Teuchi and Ayame, my dad, Ino's dad, Choji's dad, Kiba's mom, Hana, Hinata's dad, Hanabi, Konohamaru, Sakura's dad, and Kurenai,"

Neji's eyebrow stayed raised and Tenten's smirk got wider. Naruto grinned.

"So, the losers pay _who_ now?" Tenten questioned.

"Naruto," Everyone chirped.

"Uh-huh, and how much did Naruto win?" Tenten went on.

Naruto decided he was jealous of Neji. Tenten was great.

"About the same as going on a high level S-Rank mission," Shikamaru said.

Naruto gaped. That was _millions_ of ryo! Never mind ramen for months! He would be living off the betting money for years!

Naruto yelped when a kunai lodged itself _a scant millimeter_ from the hand he had on the table. Naruto almost crashed to the floor but managed to keep his balance. He stared at Tenten in wonder as she twirled a second kunai on her finger.

"You're splitting that with us," Tenten said.

Naruto did fall out of his chair but secretly he grinned. He had told Neji and Tenten in the beginning he would separate the cash with Team Guy evenly. No one else needed to know this though and Tenten's "threat" had worked _perfectly._

And hey, he had _no problem_ letting Team Guy in on the millions of ryo. They deserved it after the show they had put on at dinner.

"Er, if I say no?" Naruto asked.

"Then I'll make you a pincushion right after Neji Vacuum Palms you into a tree and Lee delivers Reverse Lotus," Tenten said.

Naruto winced but nodded. Tenten grinned at him but he caught her wink out of the corner of his eye. He also recognized the "hn" Neji used. Naruto unstuck Tenten's kunai and offered it back. She took it with a smirk.

"Man, that's, urg," Kiba said.

"It was cool though," Naruto said.

"Huh?" everyone asked.

Naruto beamed.

"Watching them sync up to make dinner. And Guy makes _awesome_ food. Plus it really wasn't that bad. I mean, besides the weird dancing and singing and all the personal questions about—"

"We'll take your word for that," Shikamaru said with a shiver.

Naruto grinned. Neji coughed to hide a laugh. Tenten hid her laugh in the menu. Naruto didn't mind. He wished his team was as close as Team Guy though. It would've been _amazing._

* * *

Team Guy's dares might not be sexual in nature but let's imagine Lee in a red Speedo, green tutu and purple shell bikini top... *cough cough* Yeah, they forgot about the ice cream...so did I actually. Oops? Reviews welcome.


End file.
